Go!

The second she opened her mouth, I knew God was about to bless me through her. My friend, Carolina, had called to tell me that she would like to offer her family's beach house in Boca Grande, Florida, for a final "hoorah" weekend for the Bible study group that had been meeting at my house for the past ten weeks. Not only was I looking forward to an opportunity to spend a couple of uninterrupted days with these amazing women who have been such a tremendous part of my life, but the idea of sunshine, the beach and honest-to-goodness rest was enough to deliver me into a near-hypnotic state as I counted days...hours until we could leave. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.

I was going to rest, oh yes. Let there be no doubt. But I had big plans, too. Plans for fellowship. Plans to laugh. And plans for the quiet time of ALL quiet times. I was going to take full advantage of the situation, the atmosphere, and spend deep, on-my-own, this-is-what-its-all-about time with the Lord...the kind that I always hope for at home, but that always seems to be stifled by a screaming baby who has woken up two hours early for no good reason or the mysterious, weird phenomenon by which my body is found still lying in bed when the morning chaos begins in my house. No, this was going to be my time, my weekend to get rejuvenated and recalibrated with God. Bring. It!

My friends thought I was insane (which really isn't all that remarkable), but after a late night of girl-talk I set my alarm for 5 a.m. and went to bed on the Friday night of our girls' weekend joyfully anticipating what I knew would be a powerful time between me and the Lord the following morning. You and me, God, you and me.

I jumped out of bed at 5:45 (Yes, that's 45 minutes of hitting snooze. So what?) and threw on my sweats...the excitement of watching the sun rise up over the ocean taking the place of the caffeine in my typical two three cups of coffee. I grabbed my Bible, my worship-song-laden iPhone, a towel and Carolina's car keys. (I know, man. She's a good friend.) My orange beach chair, another important part of my plan, was waiting for me in the trunk. And I was off. Ready to sit. To watch. To listen. To worship. And to hear all that God had been preparing for me.

My heart was racing (no, really. It was.) as I pulled into the first parking lot I came to on Boca Grande. Great anticipation had led me to this morning. Nothing can possibly get in my way. You and me, God. You and...

I popped the trunk and the first thing that struck me was the fact that my beach chair, a very integral part of my quiet time fantasy, was missing. Shoot. I had forgotten. Someone moved all the beach chairs into the garage the night prior. Not okay. Not prepared to alter my perfect quiet time vision in any way. Boo. Hiss. Sigh. Fine. What. Ever.

I grabbed my Bible, towel and iPhone and headed to the beach. The sun was just about to rise. Timing was perfect. My beyond-compare, matchless, most highly anticipated time with God was right over these little, tiny sand hills. Just...over...here...

I spread my towel out, opened my Bible to the Psalms and sat down. The sun was breaking just over the waves which created the only audible sound. There was no one else on the beach. It was me and God, me and...

Smack! What. Was. That? Smack! (again).

As I watched expectantly the big, giant ball of fire rise up over the horizon, as my mind was completely honed in like a tractor beam to whatever it was God was preparing to share with me, as I finally sat in the place and moment that I had envisioned myself in for weeks, something was biting me. It wasn't just one or two little bites. It was continual. Stinging. Nagging. Unrelenting. In the middle of what I had anticipated would be a profound moment for me spiritually, tiny biting insects were stealing my joy. And they were on a mission. Like bosses.

Dude. Seriously? (By the way, my nephew recently made note that the word "Dude" is no longer cool to use, so will someone please send me the appropriate alternative?)

I got up, disappointed. Grief-stricken. I couldn't sit there. I would be eaten alive. Even out here, a gazillion miles from my responsibilities and the typical distractions of my life, there were still distractions. Tiny. Black. Winged. Biting-thing. Distractions.

I walked back to the car, moping. Refusing to give up my fantasy, I desperately searched my caffeine-less brain for solutions. And then I had a thought.

"Maybe I'll just walk."


I left everything but my iPhone and the keys (because if Carolina's car gets stolen I am so dead) and just started to trudge down the beach.

As I walked, the sun rose. And I watched it. As I walked, I saw things I wouldn't have otherwise seen...a crab hanging out on the beach, a lighthouse, sea birds dive-bombing some very unfortunate fish. I got inspired to draw little hearts in the sand with my kids' names in them and take a picture to send them. (What? That's not dumb.) And you know what was so crazy? Those bugs..the little annoying, psycho devil bugs (I came up with that nickname myself), were no longer bothering me. As I walked I prayed. As I walked God spoke. As I walked I worshiped. As I walked I cried. As I walked I rejoiced. It turned out to be one of the best quiet times I can remember.*

So many times in our lives we find ourselves being bombarded by the irritants of the world. Fears. Concerns. Pain. Ambitions. Needs. Hopes. Disappointments. Anxieties. Wants. They gnaw on us constantly as we sit and wait for God to act. To speak to us. To conquer them. So often we want to remain stationary and allow God in His might to just solve our problems for us, to do something profound, to change us, to change the circumstances. While we sit and watch. While we anticipate.  Often we find ourselves doubting because God hasn't acted quickly enough. We haven't seen the relief we were expecting. We're still getting bitten. It's getting to be beyond what we can endure. The sun is coming up. The moment should be right now, but it's getting ruined.

Get up. Walk. And keep walking.

Are you actively walking by pursuing God's truth...REALLY studying His Word and His promises to you? His instruction to you? Are you actively obedient to the things He's called you to do, even when it's hard? Are you actively walking in your prayer life...confessing your own short-comings, praising God even in difficult times, asking for His perspective when the world seems to be attacking you? Are you really up-on-your-feet walking with Him or are you sitting and waiting, being eaten alive?

A great aspect of God's graciousness lies in the fact that He allows us to participate in the journey He has designed for us. He didn't create us to be robots or puppets or knick-knacks on a giant, cosmic shelf of cool things He created. Our participation is key. And the struggles we face are often allowed by God to bring us towards Him, to refine us, to better prepare us for an eternity with Him. But so many truths of His goodness can only be seen during The Walk. Great things await you on The Walk. Even if The Walk is not what you had been anticipating. So go. Go!

 "Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

* A little side note: When I got back that morning from my quiet time experience I found my friend, Carolina, sitting on the balcony of the beach house with her Bible in hand. She was frustrated. She had been bitten there, too. As we shared our experiences of the morning, she laughed and said to me, "The whole time I had been sitting here, getting bitten, trying to read my Bible and thinking 'I should have gone to the beach with Leigh-Ann.'" But that's another blog post for another time.