Confessions

A couple of weeks ago we had a fairly sad incident transpire in my home. We had had a play date with a friend in the morning which had gone great. The kids relished their time together and all in the world was well. Later that evening as I was unpacking the diaper bag and readying it for another excursion I found something quite odd. Deep down in the bottom, covered with diapers and changes of clothes was a toy. A really cool toy. A toy that was not ours. Hmmm. Interesting. How did this get here?  I called my perfect little offspring in to verify that some strange force of nature had spontaneously beamed the toy into my bag, but alas, I could tell immediately from the response that foul play had been involved. My heart sunk. It had been taken intentionally. My child had stolen this toy from their friend.

I spent the day in tears, grappling with my effectiveness as a parent, wondering which black hole the whole "Do To Others" and "Thou Shalt Not Steal" concepts had been sucked into.  What happened here, God? We have worked so hard to instill godly character in our kids. What in the world!? A couple of realities immediately hit me as I prayed through this parental catastrophe. 1) My kids are not exempt from sin and 2) just as I have a responsibility to teach them about godly character, I also have a responsibility to teach them about confession and repentance.

So we got busy writing a letter of apology and made some apology cookies to deliver to our little friend. I was disheartened and a little alarmed during the whole process at my child's lack of what I would call "a repentant heart."  Pencil to paper, humming a happy tune, I heard, "Mommy, how do I spell 'stole'?"

Hmm, this isn't right. There needs to be sorrow here. There needs to be sadness at having done something like this to a friend. Do we need counseling? Is there a missing piece of DNA in my child that contained compassion and empathy? This is disturbing. With a heavy heart I drove us to the scene of the crime so that amends could be made.

What happened at the door was remarkable. My child, when faced with the offended, when having to verbally confess what had taken place, was shaken. The lack of feeling was replaced with discomfort, anxiety, sadness. Oh, how I wanted to move in and take the weight of that confession. It was hard to watch, but it wasn't my burden to relinquish. What was even more remarkable was the response from the victim of the crime. "I still love you. You are still welcome to come to my house and play whenever you want to." Wow. Awe. All around. This was a powerful moment.

Awkwardly, we said good bye and trudged back to the car. Whew. It's over. Let's go get a Happy Meal and recover. When I looked in the rear view mirror, though, the power of what had just happened manifested itself in the form of a child bent over in a booster seat, weeping uncontrollably, overcome with emotion. "Honey, I know that was hard. You did great. I'm really proud of you." The response came in a quiet voice, over tears, and soon I was crying too.

"She told me she still loved me, Mommy. She still loves me." 

The emotion was not in response to the difficulty of what was required and the relief of having it be over. The emotion was in response to the forgiveness and unconditional love of a friend when a wrong had been done to them. The change in my child took place at that moment, when they were face to face, the offender and the offended, and grace had been passed from the latter to the former after the confession had been made. It was magnificent.

When was the last time you looked God in the face and confessed to Him the wrongs you have done? Out loud? Vulnerable? Real? When was the last time you came clean about the fact that the sins in your life are real and need to be dug out from the bottom of the proverbial bag where they are covered over with denial or quieted with shopping or a full calendar or wine or eating or mindless t.v. time?  When was the last time you got on your face at the feet of your Lord and asked for forgiveness for the ways you have made yourself more important and Him less? I don't know about you, but I have some spiritual house-keeping to do myself today.

Verbal confession is humbling, but forgiveness is powerful. The unconditional love that can only come from God is life-altering. We should enjoy the freedom from sin that Jesus provides us. He endured the cross so that we would be free. To bury our sins and fail to receive the gift is a failure to acknowledge the most powerful exchange of love that ever transpired.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9